Benik Afobe who graduated from Arsenal's famed academy has given an insight into the ruthless psyche of modern football after exposing a former manager who insisted he faked being happy while he mourned the loss of his daughter
Former Arsenal, Bournemouth, and Stoke City striker Benik Afobe has spoken up about his struggles with the death of his daughter in 2019, which wrecked him emotionally and called out one of his former managers for being insensitive to his struggles.
Afobe reminisces losing his daughter in 2019
Afobe lost his daughter, Amora, who sadly passed away after suffering complications from a severe infection in November 2019.
The Arsenal academy graduate reminisced on the CounterAttack podcast about losing his daughter and how it had become a lot more difficult to continue as a professional footballer since her demise noting that he has “been to hell and back” trying to recover from the loss.
He said, “That's the hardest part of the whole situation. Imagine. It's not even the grieving. If I'm really honest, football has been much tougher since she passed away, 100 percent. I think about it all the time.”
![Afobe and his daughter when he played for Wolves in the Championship](https://sportal365images.com/process/smp-images-production/ringier.africa/23062023/9fdff466-739b-45af-86f2-f96530d3f078.jpg?operations=fit(480:))
“I've got other kids, and they're a blessing, but when I first came back it was tough. I was playing poorly. Stoke fans used to get onto me, they didn't realise I was going through things. I've been to hell and back.”
Afobe calls out insensitive manager
Afobe recalled the period just after the death of his daughter on the CounterAttack podcast, noting that his manager at the time expected him to ‘just move’ on and keep being his old happy self while he was suffering internally with grief.
The Arsenal academy graduate said, “I had a coach when she [His daughter] passed away, who wanted me to be a leader in the club, and I was being quiet. It was about three or four months after she passed.
“He pulled me in his office and said, ‘Listen, I need the bubbly Benik Afobe to get the boys going. You’re an experienced player, you played at a high level.’”
“And I just went ‘okay’ because I wanted to hold my peace, but I thought to myself, ‘Wow, they just expect me to go back to being everything [I was].’”
The six-time Congo international further emphasised the lack of empathy shown by his manager at that time, noting that it soon became clear that nobody truly appreciated the difficulty he was going through.
“It’s different if he said I need you to run around or I need you to play well. But he was asking me to put all my effort in making the other boys happy and positive when it was a struggle for me to do it for myself and my family.
“I just said to myself, you know what? They don’t understand what I’m going through.”
Judging from the timing of Afobe’s story, the coach in question was likely current Hibernian gaffer Lee Johnson, who was in charge of Afobe at Bristol City when he was on loan from Stoke City.
Related content
![Legendary Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger set for coaching role at Stamford Bridge](https://sportal365images.com/process/smp-images-production/ringier.africa/25112021/638b25f4-cdfb-4fcd-b3fc-1c0d6aad1b1f.jpg?operations=fit(180:))
19:07 - 23.06.2023
Legendary Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger set for coaching role at Stamford Bridge
Arsenal’s defender Oleksandr Zinchenko and former Chelsea striker Andriy Shevchenko will lead two squads of legends at Stamford Bridge in the Game4Ukraine, with Arsene Wenger in the dugout.
![Arsenal midfielder Thomas Partey agrees personal terms with Juventus](https://sportal365images.com/process/smp-images-production/ringier.africa/06012023/3ee8fc6b-e461-4918-8573-2508bd835818.jpg?operations=fit(180:))
12:28 - 23.06.2023
FOOTBALL Arsenal midfielder Thomas Partey agrees personal terms with Juventus
The Ghana captain is leaning towards a move to Italy after reportedly turning down offers from Saudi Arabia.
![Blow for Man United as Ten Hag's target agrees to join Arsenal](https://sportal365images.com/process/smp-images-production/ringier.africa/23062023/55e1349f-bf84-452d-a08f-7036872afa06.jpg?operations=fit(180:))
07:37 - 23.06.2023
Blow for Man United as Ten Hag's target agrees to join Arsenal
Ajax defender Jurrien Timber has reportedly agreed to join Arsenal this summer despite heavy links to Manchester United.
![Arsenal and Manchester City target Declan Rice advised to go on strike to force move](https://sportal365images.com/process/smp-images-production/ringier.africa/17052023/1e934d10-a1a3-4117-8d87-7b60622496d3.jpg?operations=fit(180:))
16:25 - 22.06.2023
TRANSFERS Arsenal and Manchester City target Declan Rice advised to go on strike to force move
West Ham United star Declan Rice is a subject of intense battle between Premier League clubs Manchester City and Arsenal.
![Juventus considering signing Arsenal midfielder Tomas Partey](https://sportal365images.com/process/smp-images-production/ringier.africa/22062023/3795479b-00cb-4938-bdf7-1e2feb8cd915.png?operations=fit(180:))
14:42 - 22.06.2023
Juventus considering signing Arsenal midfielder Tomas Partey
According to reports, Juventus are considering making a move for Arsenal midfielder Thomas Partey who could be sold this summer.
![Man City prepare opening bid for West Ham captain Declan Rice](https://sportal365images.com/process/smp-images-production/ringier.africa/22062023/8a7d6a88-331a-406c-99ee-517b9df41d3b.png?operations=fit(180:))
12:32 - 22.06.2023
Man City prepare opening bid for West Ham captain Declan Rice
Manchester City are set to make a bid for Declan Rice this week following the departure of Ilkay Gundogan to Barcelona according to reports.
![Arsenal goalkeeper Aaron Ramsdale ties the knot with partner](https://sportal365images.com/process/smp-images-production/ringier.africa/21062023/d90da76d-a72b-4607-a2ab-5d9e8ad8e399.png?operations=fit(180:))
19:43 - 21.06.2023
Arsenal goalkeeper Aaron Ramsdale ties the knot with partner
Aaron Ramsdale, an England and Arsenal goalkeeper, wed his longtime partner Georgina Irwin in a private ceremony.
![Arsenal make opening bid of £60m for Chelsea's Kai Havertz, personal terms agreed](https://sportal365images.com/process/smp-images-production/ringier.africa/20062023/24247209-d9c8-4f03-abf6-8c6bd4150efa.jpg?operations=fit(180:))
10:27 - 20.06.2023
Arsenal make opening bid of £60m for Chelsea's Kai Havertz, personal terms agreed
Arsenal have made an opening verbal offer worth £60million for Chelsea attacker Kai Havertz as the Gunners look to seal the German's signature.